Life Style

Why Women Need to Stop Bashing Women (A Love Letter to Lena Dunham)


66th Annual Primetime Emmy Awards - ArrivalsAward show after award show, I’ve come to learn that when you roll out the red carpet, you roll out the criticisms of every audience member. This week’s VMAs and Emmys were a back-to-back tennis match of “who wore what” jargon. I’m all for highlighting the best red carpet looks and I might make a remark about a dress I didn’t love here and there, but while scrolling through the comment sections of many articles I was astounded to find criticisms that ran deep. When will we realize that shaming other women with derogatory language and crude comments is scrapping at the bottom of the barrel of civility?

I follow sites like Buzzfeed religiously and I expect the discussion area to be filled with a mixture of thoughtful, brilliant, lewd and idiotic remarks. Forums are meant for debates – that’s just a fact. I was pretty disturbed to find some of the horrendous things girls are saying about Lena Dunham’s eye-catching Giambattista Valli ensemble. I say eye-catching in the best sense of the word because while I will agree with the some of the wittier Twitter comments bantering about things Lena Dunham looked like (including a beautiful ombre wedding cake), she was bold in her decision and felt comfortable in it. As she stated herself on Twitter, the dress “looks like cake and feels like sweatpants.” Some of the comments are embarrassing for women who are actually trying to better each other and carry the feminist movement rather than stunt its growth.


Some highlights of my findings:

photo 4 (3)



photo 1 (2)

photo 5 (2)


My sentiments to the Lena haters: Lena Dunham looks like a cotton candy princess, a Princess Peach phenomenon, a prima ballerina, an effortlessly cute Pinterest cake, and she is above your snide remarks. Deal with it. Sure, the dress is over the top but at the end of the day it had nothing to do with her being “too fat” or “completely ugly.” There is a person wearing that dress who doesn’t deserve to be scoffed at for her perfectly normal size. You want to know why?

  1. She’s comfortable with her body. Who else could participate in that much on-air nudity? I wouldn’t want to play table tennis with my lady parts out there, but more power to her for having the confidence I wish I had. You go, Lena!
  2. She writes, directs, and stars in her own show – at 28 years old. Excuse me while I exit my own quarter-life crisis to learn how to live from Lena Dunham.
  3. She wrote, directed and starred in her own film, “Tiny Furniture,” at 24 years old. New life goal? Write, direct and star in a film before my 25th birthday next week.
  4. She’s open to talking about her own issues, most notably in the moving “Girls” episode when her on-screen persona, Hannah Horvath, struggles with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. Lena has dealt with OCD since childhood and is willing to admit this, shine a light on it, and build awareness and acceptance for those currently dealing with the same issues.
  5. She’s writing a memoir and it’s sure to be filled with the ups and downs of her highly interesting and accomplished life.
  6. She stands up for women rather than bashing them. Lena understands feminism and the quest for equality. There will never be a day where you find Lena Dunham tweeting about how someone should be ashamed of their exterior. There will most definitely never be a day when you catch her calling someone derogatory names like “fat” or “ugly” for no reason other than jealousy or personal unhappiness.

Ending note: Some days are made for love, tutus and endless joy. Rather than facilitating hate towards women who do OUTSTANDING things for the sake of other women, Lena Dunham is absolutely rocking this thing called life, looking like a stunning cupcake, and not caring about what you think.

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  • I posted this article on my facebook wall, because I couldn’t agree more. Very well said!


    • Hi Amanda,

      That made my day! Thanks so much for sharing. I just can’t stand when I see women completely tearing about other women. I think Lena Dunham is a great role model for people battling self confidence issues and for women wanting to take a stand on women’s equality. I find her to be accomplished and brilliant, so throwing derogatory terms at someone who is bettering our standing in society is just unfathomable to me. I was shocked to see some of the terrible things people were saying about Lorde, too. It just seems to be a personal problem among women who aren’t confident in themselves and feel the need to bring down others. Yuck.

      Thanks again for the positive feedback! 🙂


      • I don’t know why I didn’t see your reply before- my apologies!! But I agree, women can be so cruel, and it’s so sad because it starts at such an early age. I’ve seen some pretty awful things on instagram and when I look at the persons page who posted it, many times they are young teenagers. It’s a shame that instead of us women building eachother up, there are so many out there knocking others down.

  • Nice job! It kinda sucks when you do read comments like the ones referring to Lena. Thanks you for writing this article and perhaps those women that read it will be reminded that putting people/women down are the reasons us women still have many reservations when it comes to our power and individuality. When it comes to clothes “if it makes you feel confident, you can wear it”! 🙂

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